First at all , i would like to thank u dear for ur effort
Second , i think u made many mistakes regarding the two pronouns " me " and " u " , unless u c no difference betwenn u nd him
Also we can't translate any passage or poem or anth literally, we have what is called " the sould or the sense of translation" , it means that u add ur own touch that comes from ur own beautiful language.That is why translators or interpretors do hard work and take huge courses in order to be translators.Any way thank u , and it is well done