My journal in one of my depressed days
There is a question I would love to ask you, but I don’t need an answer nor I’m waiting for you to reply .In the matter of fact this question is for you to answer and be honest to yourself because I don’t want an answer nor do I need an answer.
My question is: Do you want me to be happy? Or do you want me to be sad? Or do you ever even care? Take your time in answering the question I just asked, if you what me to be happy is there anything you showed me to be so. If you want me to be sad then what did I ever do to deserve that? And if you don’t care just say it because if you fear saying it, things will get worst. If being in your life makes you happy then please tell me because I don’t feel that and I don’t read minds nor you’re beside me so I can read your eyes.
If being in your life brought you worry and sadness then from this moment I’ll leave because I didn’t want things to be that way .You might ask me why do I even care, well let me tell you that I have no idea why do I ever care? I just lost my control; I couldn’t control myself for the first time ever. I’m trying to be patient, but for a moment I asked myself what r you waiting for?
What r Ur patients for?
The sky seems to be too high there is no way I could ever climb it unless I dream of that, am I going to stay my whole life dreaming till I realize that there is nothing worth too wait.
Are you worth waiting for?
Shall I forget?
Or shall I pretend that nothing has happened between both or us?
I’ve always depended on my faith but I’m confused whether it’s my faith this time or whether it is what I want to happen.