In The Jungle --- The Hours If you have past lives and this life I am now in the mode of recording the route of transmigration 20100103 Lianju. Separately. 20100104 guest, dinner. 20100105 work. 20100106 rest. Call. Ssummit miss. 20100107 watch. The isearth assault. Thinking. Down sad. Wash himself a comfortable hot bath. But do not know when a piece of paper left little finger. When there is no loss of feeling lost after the slightest pain. Do 80 push-ups. 20100108 mercenaries never back-up, I was his backup. Allotment of first-aid kit with Band-Aid wrapped in a left hand middle finger, but did not expect more pain, has been driving with nine fingers. I faced intermittent snow through the day. Look at post http://bbs.tiexue.net/post_4026238_1.html, I'm moving, but I always not that great. 34 years ago today, January 8, 1976,
new ghds 51 the first day to the Hangzhou Paradise (not deco, Zhou Enlai's death. 20100109 snow in one day, the wound is still the wound, but no pain, a quiet trance, toward the snow outside the window, put a radio in a row twice, \absolute. There has been very good to hear \Home meal against players by chaos, the result of random playback is Aurora, noodles injury. 20100110 Today is a day 1 and the 0-based, it is mechanical, through the very machinery, the jet aircraft parking became a serpent, black and white stripes. I miss not miss you, miss our ever, ever walked the streets, once said, I think, care about the real pay-off shows, the remark is justified. I have been really serious about paying. 20100111 feels weird date, very dull day, still thinking, still enraged, still injured, but there are other things and view sceneing the hands of the already healed, old and new cracked off the limits. Also take a bath in the cold bath, own laundry. Used to open BLOG, five friends to invite, though intuition tells me are advertising, but the strange thing is the words for something which was passing along, but I still precise. 20100112 endless security, tired of the day, mind you, tends to dull the anger mixed with a lot of thinking has nothing to do with you, watching sunsets suddenly thought of the show you had a secret wish Sunset under the windmill, fuzzy, memories of the past, a lot of good, although not carry on to offset your fault, but it distracted me nervous at night, listening to the lyrics: One hundred years later than it is now certain to be upset. Want off the computer, play the lost beauty, to hear the end of sleep, memory or can not cease himself. 20100113 always been very fast time to think about the day passed very quickly, suddenly at night is more intense than a few days before the earthquake, the first reaction, or even pick up the phone dial that number, not that's. 20100114 busy and tiring day ,06:40-22: 00 uninterrupted replacement guards, were injured in the beginning the final phase of wound healing, it pains up, a man singing in the car listening to Jeff Chang half of the constancy, and finally to understand that I take the initiative to abandon you, because you deserve standing beside me, not worthy of my habit of waking nightmare when to comfort me, you do not know the meaning helmsman the vessel, so you really The unworthy. 20100115 I think today I write a lot. New Year's first month has gone by in the past half a period of four days of thick script finally played out, finally a interval from busy running around wearing a walkie-talkie. Units issued at the time a case of wine, have thought of planning a wine with your dinner, and then her chest started cramping up, very hard to be patient, for a entire afternoon. All day today from last night, I have been constantly ask, to be honest I suddenly regret to lose you, not because you deserve my own, when I think about it, I suddenly discovered that long, long time ago I came to realize the various signs and I was very reluctant to make only one person I know who are all forecast to become a reality, I had to secretly idolize their capacity to foresee the same God. Anyway, I did regret it, because I do not understand why you did not try to learn one of the few advantages --- English, Haitian earthquake has been three days, China blue helmets extremely concerned about the safety of me, I am serious The query was about the conditions of China's blue helmets, driving, shooting, electronic, physical, political, tactical and so on, suddenly I found my long search for the dream, all made me long after the conditions of indifference there is a --- English listening, speaking, reading and writing, so I am sorry, if I can learn your good at, the Chinese Blue Helmets are not far to me, I kept thinking, should not contact you, I'm looking for you, because only one, to English, for my dreams. Chinese Blue Helmets, never dreamed of such a brilliant few yards away from me, and I think this is what I want to --- dream trip. At night, the radio was on-demand \The statement is very low and demoted, but it is true, some people demand two Video search, I believe, but unfortunately, I still have not heard, there is a love do not love more than the lonely, right, because the love of my heart. 20100116 afternoon, to play, not always focutilized, invariably thinking, I think, not how crucial you are, but basketball is too tedious to attractivity my attention, distinctive; this only. One bath, then a month, is a red envelope, it is the same location, where like a miniature of the tomb, buried past of the sweet. I finally want to know: want, you strive and work rough. There is no other step, not ly belongs to you, so we must fight to get, or keep. 20100117 difficult to get the rest days, official contact in a variety of wake up call, found that 77-style shell necklace in the body under the pressing, I do not know when was I off, recall the memory of last night without dreaming , then the necklace how to leave my body? I guard the necklace as I do not know the left guard's body. Has not hesitated to call, hold junior English-Yunshanwuzhao study, no use, I would like to go to Haiti, so I have to win the English language, you must, but for someone, perhaps only you. night to go drinking habits of mind, for almost no spare SIM card, forget the numbers, into the marrow of the strange voice, the narrative intermittently, pain not increased but not happy. On the folder to see a very long article, men rule 100, that's really on the very right: breaking up, you can feel bad, but the transition period can not be too long, because this period is an excellent learning and time. Chennai not live if you really lonely, and so on at least six months, otherwise you not only rejected her, has denied yourself. I think I do, or more men, I will not let this too long, because I have many goals to carry out, I will not let such a short time, because you are genuinely too. Besides this they are hardly even break it, this point, I think I am better than you do good, much better. Just sorry I'm not generous, not left to hurt me smile most of the people. 20100118 woke up this morning not even think of you first sense, but grab the neck of the bullet, still, my guardian still, a person running in the fog filled, no thinking. Near noon, go home, do not want to eat, see the general quality of Avatar, fresh in memory, when the real record, that's quite right. See an article, then go to space decade, too far out of reach, that is, until an instant. See the end, no holding back, pressure in the eyes in two weeks is still very wanton tears flooded out. Remember: Your life has been to me seriously. I always think, maybe you do or if I had the judgment that as good, but unfortunately we have very different environment to grow, creating awareness of our fundamental departure from, as in the eyes of the cruel killings you are I believe that the highest kind, as generous in your eyes to me is unforgivable sin. Two of the stones on the departure, in any case will not be compeld into one, well, casual, and I seriously before. Afternoon, several messages, without any explanation of the ideas and wishes. Went too far, far there is no need to look back. 20100119 wake up very early, in the dusty, moist fog through the day, like many, was more quiet, backshore music is: next days, a very hurtful song. Suddenly, I am happy that the night before departure of original sin and the airport did not tell you the truth, because you do not deserve to know. 20100120 rare glass of red wine last night by 21 points before the break, and the ultimate factory Corvette sports car video look at the half, 7:00 wake up more, and is still used to think of you, but I was shocked, I can not remember your face, turned you out too much difficulty, at least partially removed. Last night, it was, you know, a person said to me, is this age, normal, can do without, is the master! Unfortunately, some perspective on it playing my spy, I want to prove, once again set a goal to prove to yourself, I can do without. Lying in front of the computer to see a stranger's diary, \wrong, make you lonely, you lonely. I ignored the silence you do not like me the ability to face, but only in the head down and planning the next jump, I go in a speed up, so many years, I quicken to leave the training school certificate of graduation to take back into the community, I almost always one-step way above the Ben, and you do not loose heart and keep up my pace, you cling to too many unrelated things, I was wrong in not understand your steps, I stop and fine number of your commitment, but could not find me trying to think happy to be honored, they would understand, not love you, love a man with the feeling in the side, fell in love with the feeling of escape from loneliness, can not read the eyes of the mind, doomed The line is a stranger. A long time ago someone told me that love is like a rubber band, then let go of will be further damaged, I am well aware of, or commitment to grip, but did not expect such a way that you would use open hands. Everyone has to bear is the bottom line, carrying not only crushed the sum of a heart, you are full of sin, I would break out. When the afternoon playing matchs, 11 injured in the tank, I do not have treatment, but rather choose to continue fighting learn self healing, I think this is the right way, the only way to independence, will be stronger. Did not take you to eat supper Chen Mian, then buy a light most supermarket shelves all Lipton tea, for the first time, enough insane ever held. 20100121 to get up very early, that will run in the cold air, glide wheel drive when suddenly realize that for so long, you got I do not have to change each other, I still like the silent years, the quiet things buttoned, and ghosts come out alive, and your obsession with, and it is Zhongxingpengyue life. Last night, someone said to me, I am in the car lights as you, I can see you, but you can not see me, I see that your happiness, you can not see is my sorrow. Units allotted cell phone, Dopod individual terminals, 4 years ago, the dream, but now, I just think how drained away, a lot, and only have time to be found not suitable for do not need. Lying on the road in front of the computer to see a lonely woman who wrote the text and photos of lonely, Lijiang, Tiger Leaping Gorge and Beijing, if not noodles to go, I would to experience unforgettable. Night in the car listening to the first half I believe, around the city by car, dug decades across a 300 m deep crater to see the gorgeous city lights, I in the gloom, and again, the sky Beidou Seven hanging there, a quiet reminder of the significance of the direction. 20100122 83 have been wandering in the open, very tired, eyes Akira's very rugged to accept, is a semi-song, the memory of long ago, 爱在西元前. I'm going to conclusion without a inception of the future, but I think I want to see that this is an experience, to experience, since it is necessary, but on the face. 20100123 age 09 went up after the end of the mountain. Time point from the deviation, 25 minutes after I sat in the high stone peak,, the way you think by opportunity, not so sad, no longer so happy, coming down the mountain in the bushes to find the footprints of last year I went through, or that Article footprints, and nothing more people came, and I have to go more lonely. At some of his friends to consume beer bed delegated too long, a bottle of beer, half a glass of red, I am allergic to, even more today, sorry, as always. 20100124 is a 24, never again will anybody remember this anniversary, am awakened by a nightmare of torture is very upset, a loss of 92 pistols, a conspiracy, a disgusting wedding, really I can not accept, confusion, and can not control, sending a message, my massivegest weakness is too fond of memories, I do not want, no one can control. At night, driving a car circling around the city, with adjacently three hours of time to a stranger a story from four years ago they began, to the end now, perhaps the only one to four years of memories re-comb, and then speed up the play down, thank you can hear at the end. Night in the corridor, and I a little dreadd and afraid I have to wait to see you before long, long time. 20100125 a person's lounge, very cold, I curl wake up, drive a tired in the afternoon when I put myself in the position of the passengers,
cheap ghds, body extension of the low, looking out the window The scenery constantly back, I was me, just scenery changed. I am not entertaining angels, not born, but I was absolutely competitive weapon, destined. 20100126 continue to play the character of passengers, time inadvertently flow through. The radio was on in discussing the topic of betrayal and loyalty, only to hear the end, it was a one-on-demand does not play the song, missing lover, the host said, any excuse to not betray reason. Standing in front of you and I know the high school, doing the extra security, mind flashed a picture once you leaving for my happiness, crossing, see CT's car, and then pumping his hand back suddenly, the moment you do not Language guilt life I thought of my dreams Whispering Colour, Lan Lin, Gu Xiaobei, one after another, the end guards in place when I was stunned. The boundaries of right and wrong too vague, too easy to take the road of no return. 20100127 done a confused dream, a lot of cash, conspiracy, theft, and you, can not remember the circumstances, not only to know that I played the wicked. Snow day, as he bought a new black pants, brand name adhere, to my. To precipitation, cool. Overheard a song, you do not often hear me at the time, you come, I would not hear, you go, I hear, thousands of taste, no song called Valentine's Valentine's Day. 20100128 another dream, another you, up in the morning and what can not remember. Began more and more trance. Had been to 59, winter farther and farther. Into the internal network to find pictures of a strtemper, maybe even with. When security guards, who passed a girl wearing a mask, my eyes swept eyebrows, like, how many how many tears, joy, Ying Ying choose and reproduce in the mind. A eccentricr, and I said, a woman was playing the excessive fan, and then feel that they are erroneoused, that it is not only me to do this. Make a vote, the consequence is the weakness s the heart, I want to test against, I s the heart, good for you, spoil you. 20100129 01:28, this is my first time watching the Shawshank Redemption of the time, for the life and death and betrayal of the understanding is still blurred, but I remember the words, hope is a good thing. I think I want to write, you write a letter, and then sealed with wax well, buried in one corner of the mountains, continue, etc, so you come and let you see the letter I wrote to you. morning and even then did not remember the dream, think of a meal has been said that the last meal treat for you, but will not let you pay every time, because the last time never want to come Unfortunately, no words can express my not leaving you out of step. 20100130 still have your dream last night. 600 km distance, two strange city, it is done today, the majority of time on the road to trance, very quiet. In a strange city, there is no reason to suddenly remember a long time ago you bought the water pink sweater, you never cross, so I would not have thought to send you, but remember today, very sad, I want you to be , and you never do. See VW's C4 truck suddenly very glad when my vision was good, although I was wrong once. Hide in a cool dark room at night watching television, until the end of the day. 20100131 0:00 am the storm has passed since, the TV voice of transfer is small, and then turn around to sleep, wake up, when two points, CCTV2 in the speech of my youth who call the sboilings, can not see the storm, and turned back to sleep to wake up the morning itself, did not care for me. Car cruising around the city during the day, very tired, can not termination. Themselves in the bathhouse, the water temperature 41 ℃, not cold. More and more tranquil, more and more away from the past life. 20100201 in January and ephemerally later, the rest straight to the rhythm a little bit slow, to bookstores PS instructing books, then go very far to go home, only to find the way I remember less and less You, in frule, hard to forget someone, but do not care who forget very easily, it is so gone will be gone. At night, someone said to me, forget faster than the speed of mind. 20100202 cold day, the minimum temperature is below -20 ℃. When driving at night, the radio was ordered Bandaotiehe, first heard in the nine years ago, the song did not change, and change the songs of the heart. 20100203 festivals of my personality too, if not close to a half-hour car chase can not be controlled almost angry, this is not necessarily a bad thing, but may not be good. Frustration, the city is too small, I do not know the secret. Evening, Zhou Xun was ordered a very sad song, but how could not find back home, notwithstanding the song on his lips, perhaps only in the solitude of the environment to hear sad songs. 20100204 beginning of spring, the winter has been good-bye note in disguise, just a little emotional stability rebound, try to conduct a suppression, okay, everything is carried out step by step, stcapability, stable enough. With five minutes to buy a soft shell NIKE attention for a long time, still black, my vision and the will is good, thorough understanding, and so affordable, the value of the. 20100205 detachment's annual get-together, ask to take their families, I was one of the few single. Not very nexused about the stage demonstrate, an ethnic dance, a familiar behavior, a familiar face, I froze there, think too much, and then sleep if nothing had happened in the past, the stage music around, and I have nothing to do I am just tired, tired. Drink lie Cabaret corner, silent, listening to lots and lots of old songs, smoked my fourth cigarette, Great Hall, choking tears, not for you. If the past lives is true, then our past life what is it? Allow closer we love and hate the contrary. Cabaret temperature is not high, red leather sofas cool, I just a suit, no sweater, sleep very cold, very tired. Home to see a person's vote, the best is not easy to deceive the constellation Virgo, it is really a fairly exact, at least I think. The principle has streamlengthd a bit, in fact, nothing changed. 20100206 annual Great post again, and many comfortable than last year. May be psychological factors, think of you more today, but also a little angry, less negligible. Bought a U.S. city operations manual, extremely loving, open and find really can not understand the birthal, perhaps, understanding and love has nothing to do. NIKE Soft Shell official in service. 20100207 22 half white enough to let me into the night vomiting, delirious, I do not understand why I vomited almost forgotten world, the only thing you remember. 20100208 hangover after the result is both sides of the chest muscles with extreme pain, has been very thirsty. In the morning MCCUU place, very excited. PS tutorials at the time, the Warriors are in place, did not think PS does not affect the use of tutorials by the trauma. A bottle of drink, a Rouga Mo, a bowl of noodles, fried rice and a half copies. Who had time to buy a drink, eat Rouga Mo is the first street in Anshan, a long time without eating a bowl of noodles, I have run in the wind and rain just for a fried rice. Undeniably, these days is becoming more and more to remember you, but I can not remember your Mo Yang, if you are my past life, I think, maybe it is using borrowed before departure. 20100209 one day behind another guard added a two-hour night inspection, home hind cold, but I came back, and the arduousies much better than this. It was also a message, called grief has ended, uh, you end up. 20100210 QQ happened to open the force, and found four pictures, sleeping more than five years, was a favorite of the four, all downloads of scenery, most want to see is how the results are under incomplete do not see, like a return to old haunt people Zouliaohenyuan find a tree, where not changed, unfortunately the tree gone, the eternal people inadvertently heart is not very comfortable, all deleted, and after a period of revereed, not worth mentioning. 20100211 very tired of the day, listened to a few songs first heard many years ago, then made no listening, I discovered that an 8 year ago do not understand the song I song after 8 years The story became a reality in the night lights of the street, spinning wheels, car lights will alter according to the mottled, I am not sad, just happy it up. 20100212 Year of the Ox in the last day, at night listening to a lot of times I miss you, really like trance a year later, I realized that we really have very far, far away. 20100213 New Year's Eve, it seems that everyone was happy, of procedure, I infrequently belong to the majority among the remains. Year of the Ox in the night stand employment, a man came to startle me strawberry candied fruit, is a general public appreciation of the CT are, thank you understand our doing, understand our existence value. 20100214 New Year's first day was chilly and the gale is great. Dial the phone book from start to accomplish again, then remembered you, I do not know why. After a long, long time since I just happened to have no intention to learn, and I'm not sure you really have to wait too, but, if so, I thank you. 2009, I heard the words of the most sad is that you said to me, a person's travel is a stray. I do not know what the letter you seem to say much more but everything can not write, and standing in the breeze Tiger, I could never put together your Moyang not unique remember a street corner at a time there have been a shade. 20100215 very quiet day, eat, rest, driving, trance, listening to a lot of very old songs, and then, alone, even if the thought of nothing is still very quiet. 20100216 to calm one day, and the loud playing fractionners, and then 83 close to 120KM / H speed in the stable. Blessing two pairs of couples, the first pair, 6 years ago, saw them walking together in high school next to a small road and, apart from no memory, today saw them holding hands walking in the college lane, 6 years time, a lot, the second pair, Shen Xue and Zhao Hongbo, couple, componentner, comrade, Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games champion, thank you, I remember there are happy place, quiet bless you, even if you do not know. When looked at many, many more than the mainstream, the mainstream following, phazardousos, text, people, there way of life, and I think a lot, winding roads I think I do the optimal mainstream of Feng Ren, it makes me so altered and happiness. 20100217 tired, abnormale a minuscule vote, elected representatives of the same thing years later, that what is most happy, do not hesitate to select the backpack, on behalf of a happy home away from home, expected it, very precise. 20100218 busy day, guard, and then carries the mind walking half the city, lying in a bath at night duty room watching TV, listening situation, I suddenly wondered bath home under the night to cuddle What is the sense of his own woman, I would know, certainly, wanted to sleep, they play us this one, with great reluctance think of you, and then braved the storm manner reading the entire film, between right and wrong so obscure, so that I am tired. Night, covered by the coat in the fall to earth, I warm to rely on, leave me in I do not know of. 20100219 wonderd, last night another dream of you, but can not remember the specific circumstances, only know that dream I was calm. With the rest of the cool earth early in the morning, I began my first long-distance driving trip, this journey is not far, is around the corner, as long as you can away from the destistate can be any place, way out by highways become extremely fleeting, 180KM / H speed slightly a little excited, let me a deeper understanding of the vehicle, quality and speed must be proportional, but I am far from the quality of the speed you can form the most of. Back to the city with his fatigue, vitality continues, I have been so forgotten you, leaving only the idea of waiting time has been buried. Thank you, very God of Calvin Klein be. night time, late time, cried for a long long time, let go of the voice, hoarse voice, and I think that is in the past, in fact, nothing in the past, but I shun too far, I can not see, not like, not listening, the feeling of pressure in the heart even deceived myself, long, long time, a good many years in the past several years have re-emerged, how Haohao Di became this way, I'm sorry, TWINS very hard to singing Strawberry Apple Orange, Rene Liu semi-sad love with a way out, memory, sadness, let me live it, and do not torment me. Put the lights out, lie on the bed, there are many, many, I do not have dawn of Dalian, I warm 皮蛋瘦肉粥, I had time to continue the good, how then walked to the end, how it gave the Also a departure from, I thought I was back in situ, but this is not a spot, just like it, do not get back the lost Debu back, know not forget, forget to remember, I said anything not changed, I still I am in fact far, everything has changed. 20100220 Tiger's first escort mission to encounter frustrations, I wonder if others see him as he ran in front of what it feels like fall, I was unusually calm, perhaps because the eyes do not come from with the ease, All in all impartially successful, after the success of minute, frustrations, this is Tiger's predict it? At night to a stranger about cross ride across Europe and Asia love story, then, fatigue hit. Didiffer to see five years ago, I discovered that I really convertd a lot. While not bad, but I am at a loss. 20100221 Tiger began the day when the first lot of punishment, at night a tear, the distance between right and wrong will always be sepasized by a wall. Night, a strange woman emerges alone, more than words, see a hidden wound of the people off the memory of a kiss, a journey, a love, still alone. Read six years ago to see the video, then read it since the time deviate a person, six years later, he had not him, then, in tears. 20100222 evening peak, has been facing in one direction, I do not know the reasons for the sudden turn back, behind some of the traffic, turning a very strange expression, human side of a black girl three years, long hair, straight hair, a round face, eyes met, and only one second, and then passing, move forward, and perhaps this is the interfragment of all of our lives, maybe life is so hurried the intersection, and then embark on their journey passed in a flash to continue to before the run, then, are you? And I stay at the same point do not separate you. 20100223 very hastily the day, almost no sunny skies, fog, today, a stranger engaged, out of the most cold woman, That's life so unpredictable variables, then I wait like contemplation. I do not know why, chest pain, like bursts of tears. 20100224 in the freezing rain in a mist-shrouded realized today is a 24, very calm, very happy containing as much as feasible at night, afraid to sleep, until this day had halted the last second, not the non- difficulties, is afraid to see you in a dream, finally, Na Ying's put love a way out, to sleep. 20100225 bouts of pain chest pain, what if the pain represents, I think, what in the left me, would be fine. At home, very tired, leave finally, but I do not know I'm going to do. 20100226 another dream of you last night, messy memory with thoughts do not fly. Unschoold morning and afternoon rush, decided a few hours FOX 100RLC, the other, it seems all want to talk about, in fact, nothing much to say everything. 20100227 in the morning, read a file on \\Perhaps, really down a lot. 20,100,228 very quiet day, at night, outside the firecrackers and groaning, at home watching a life and death, dignity and honor of the film, escorted Chance, for freedom and dignity to all those who fight to pay tribute. 20100301 at night, a man walking in the cold of the city, very strange, I think that all will soon have passed, but I was wrong, I'm still not done, two months, I tell themselves their own end, but I realized that I was standing there, standing that day, not want to walk, is to get out. 20100302 time has passed when it is wake up at noon, spent the day in front of the computer daze the rest of the time, at night, wake up the sleeping 4-month TEAM, is still riding through the city there is no imagination in the icy, never warm, return to brigade, spent long, long time can be washed clean of all things, a long time without a clean and comfortable, body weight is still hovering at between 75-76, which is not good, need to abate fat, increase, if the pain does not leave, I can only divert attention and not to coerces into their attention, maybe this is a good idea. 20100303 rest of the last day of the early morning of the recall, a simple noon stroll in the mall, not the purpose of the lonely, home, braving the wind is not cold to ride, after 318 Hill, after two laps to go before the mountain pavilion, a small serene street filled with the immune to the memory, the next consecutive bucket, and do not think in the fall, if I do not do, I'll never do it. I did, so I succeeded, on a small slope fall time, and remind distancelves that seriously formidable, and do not closedown a place in no arduousy. 20100304 far from tired of imagination, because I was a little different, and so I can sit in front of the computer through the outside of the guard at the time, do courseware it, still think, no longer astoundd What reaction, just as was a section in the past, uh, it really is past it. 20100305 at night, carrying his camera to try all sorts of lights shooting into the nothingness of the origin, then drove to chat until the last moment of the day, listening to different people speak highly of a land and thinking enough stations high to see far enough, it is true. 20100306 very cold days, riding long distances, pilot lowered the sitting of the 1CM, in exchange for the surprise of control, and later put back 0.5CM, be regarded as a balance to be research, always thought was the perfect height, they would understand, only to abandon the previous one, will have the opportunity to get the next, as the actual, not determined. 20100307 and an almost total strangers to chat late into the night, a lot of similarities, then, a little insomnia. 20100308 Today, I made a great progress, and getting the people to know the steps, this is not proof of my weakness, but rather that my generosity.